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The current period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {